Archives > BanterMeister

My kind of guy

(1/1)

Ziggy:
This has absolutely nothing to do with anything.... but I thought it was funny
Ziggy  :)
PS Was this any of you?

Attention, Wal-Mart Shoppers!

Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired and Mrs. Fenton insists her husband go with her to Wal-Mart where he gets bored. Here's a letter sent by a Wal-Mart manager:

"Dear Mrs. Fenton, over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance |  equipment and the specific complaints are listed below.

June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's     : carts when they weren't looking.         

July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at five-minute intervals.

July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms'

July 19: Walked up to an employee

and told her in an official tone,

'Code 3 in housewares' and watched what happened.

August 4: Asked to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION — WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'd bring pillows from the bedding department.

September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

October 4: Looked into the security camera like a mirror, and picked his nose.

November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knew where the antidepressants were.

December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.

December 6: In the auto department, practiced his 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.

December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed 'No! No! It's those voices again!'

And last but not least, December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here!'"

Navigation

[0] Message Index

Go to full version